Latest posts by Wanderer (see all)
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- Reader Case: Should I Buy a House as a Passive Investment? - May 17, 2019
So last week we posted about Frugal Relationships and Frugal Hookups, and as an experiment we asked people to post about themselves if they were looking for someone just as well versed in the ways of FIRE as they were. The results were pretty surprising.
First of all, there were 69 comments as of the time of this writing. TEE HEE.
And of those, there were 34 brave people who participated. I was expecting 2 or 3 but instead we got 34. That suggests this is actually a problem people have.
And as I thought about it, I realized that it’s actually pretty damned hard to date people who are good with their money. I met FIRECracker in University (we were lab-mates. NERD LOVE!), but if we hadn’t, what chance would we have of finding frugal spouses after school? In undergrad, frugality wasn’t seen as a bad thing since NOBODY had any money. I once saw a classmate eat a hotdog he found lying in a parking lot without batting an eye.
But in the working world, all that Keeping-Up-With-the-Jonses bullshit kicks in which forces frugal people underground. People who don’t like showing off their wealth get shunned by society, or at least, not easily noticed by members of the opposite sex (or same, if that’s your thing).
And the places people go to typically hook up with people (bars, clubs, concerts) are typically places frugal people avoid. So all the spendy people get together with each other while the non-spendy people sit at home.
It’s a problem I didn’t think about until I saw how many people had this problem.
So what can we learn from these 34 people?
We’re Surprisingly Gender-Balanced
Well first of all, the male-female ratio is actually fairly balanced, which is actually pretty surprising for a number of reasons.
- Finance blogs tend to skew HEAVILY male. This suggests that Millennial Revolution seems to have a higher-than-normal female readership. I suspect it has something to do with FIRECracker’s sassy-yet-seductive personality. Or my raw animal magnetism. *makes sexy growling noise*
- Dating sites tend to naturally skew male, and I know this because I know a couple friends in Silicon Valley who’ve tried to build dating sites. They call it the “Sausage Fest Syndrome,” and that’s why dating sites have to jump through hoops to try to achieve an even gender balance (charge the guys but let the girls in free, that sort of thing). But here, this data suggests that if we were to look at the FIRE community, it would naturally create a balanced gender environment. Obviously, we’d need to do a bigger sample, but that’s an interesting thought.
We’re All Ages
Most of the people here are in their 20’s/30’s, which is no surprise because younger people are more likely to be single and our site has the word MILLENNIAL in big block letters. But there’s still some older people in their 40’s and 50’s+ that want to find a frugal mate. That’s interesting (and unexpected).
We Have the Same Idols
Of all the FIRE writers/bloggers mentioned in the responses, FIRECracker came in #1 as their favourite. This of course, means only one thing: The majority of the people on this blog are either really good at sucking up or filthy stinking liars.
MMM came in a close second. That makes sense, he IS MMM, after all. And finally, Jim “The Godfather” Collins came in #3.
Our Dates Would Be Cheap (But Fun!)
Of all the date ideas suggested by our participants, the following are the 4 most suggested:
- Hiking. This includes hiking in the mountains, walks on the beach, strolls in the park, and, in one case, running around in the woods whipping battle axes at trees. Surprisingly metal.
- Cooking Together.
- Netflix. This I like. There is a LOT of good movies on Netflix these days.
- Going on a Picnic.
So I think it’s clear that 2 frugal people dating each other would not break the bank. Hell, you might even MAKE money.
Turn-Offs: Spendy People
And finally, a major common theme running through the responses is that Spendy People are HUGE turn-offs. Whether it’s people who need to spend money to have fun, people to show off their wealth, people who are financially illiterate, or people who have a ton of consumer debt, the participants wanted these people as far away from their genitals (and pocketbooks) as possible.
And that’s probably a good idea. As we’ve written before, if your spouse is Spendy, it’s pretty challenging to become Early Retired.
But if you think about it, this data point (and the preceding one) actually confirms a suspicion of mine. Given the choice, frugal people’s idea of a good time would be to
- Avoid Spendy People and
- Spend time in nature or at home
So of course it’s easier to meet people if you’re Spendy! Spendy people will just find the worst deal and gravitate towards that!
“I paid $12 for this beer! How much did you pay?”
“I have no idea! Also, I just lost my purse!”
“Wow, we’re both MORONS! Let’s have sex!”
“Great idea! But first, help me find my phone. I just lost that, too!”
~~~How I imagine Spendy people hook up
So what have we concluded? Well, I think it’s now obvious that dating in the FIRE community is difficult. It’s difficult because we can’t find each other. And nobody is trying to solve this problem.
And I know, I know, “BUILD THE APP” you’re all yelling. And I might. But right now, we’re fully booked up on another coding project. In a few months when that gets released, I may come back and revisit this again. If I do, you guys/gals will be the first to know.
In the meantime, I noticed a few people actually managed to connect with each other in the comments. Good luck guys/gals! If it works out, please drop us a line and update us on your hopefully-active love lives 🙂
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