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Since FIRECracker talked about “Marrying a Frugal Freak” in her last Monday post, I thought I’d take a swing at it from a guy’s perspective.
A few months ago, we asked our readers if they could tell us their number one obstacle to Financial Independence. What we got back was a fascinating breakdown of all the problems our Revolutionary Readers face day-to-day, and that post ended up shaping a lot of the content that we write on this site to this day.
One answer, however, sticks out in my mind. To the question,
What is the number one obstacle keeping you from living your dreams right now?
One reader answered,
My Wife
OUCH.
And since we’re a finance blog, not a relationship blog, we wished our reader the best of luck with alllll that and continued on our merry way.
But since then, we’ve started to see more and more couples with this problem, either from frustrated readers who write into us or people we know in real life.
Typically, it’s one of the following situations:
- One person wants to be FI, the other person doesn’t care
- One person wants to be FI, the other person is a Spendy Spouse
- One person wants to be FI, the other person is a House-Horny Idiot
And while these three situations manifest in different ways and create a different couple-dynamic, they all boil down to the same root cause.
Both People Don’t Want The Same Thing
Now here’s the thing. They say that the key to happy marriages (or common-law partnerships if that’s your thing) is compromise, and that’s true. One person likes Italian food, the other person likes sushi, so they alternate so both people get what they want. Badda-bing-badda-boom.
With Early Retirement, that doesn’t work.
While Financial Independence & Early Retirement isn’t COMPLICATED to pull off, it’s not EASY either. You have to be able to stick to a financial plan consistently for YEARS, and for that to happen both people need to be rowing in the same direction. Because if they aren’t, then this inevitably happens:
You: “Look, honey! I just saved $200 a month off by switching our cable provider!”
Spouse: “Yay! That means I can buy a new pair of $200 shoes each month! Thanks hun!”
or…
You: “Look, honey! I just got us a $3000 tax refund by contributing into our 401(k)/RRSP accounts!”
Spouse: “That’s great! Because I just bought a car! YOLO!”
or…
You: “Look, honey! I…”
Spouse: “We need a bigger house.”
You: “What? But I didn’t even tell you my news…”
Spouse: “Doesn’t matter. My co-worker just bought a house that’s bigger than ours, so we need an even bigger one. NOW.”
All of these situations are, by the way, based on real-life couples we know, and this is where nasty stuff happens. Because one person is trying their best to corral their money towards FI so they can retire and live the life of their dreams, but none of that matters if the other person just spends it all behind their back. This obviously quickly leads to resentment, and because a variation of this fight repeats itself every single day, that resentment grows and grows until eventually someone says “Screw it, I’m better off without you.” Ka-blam-o.
So if anyone out there is in this situation, they need to resolve it NOW. There’s actually no point in trying to budget, or track your spending, or optimize your portfolio if your spouse isn’t on board with your FI journey. If the two of you aren’t rowing in the same direction, fix that first. Nothing else will matter if you don’t.
So how do you fix it?
How the Hell would I know? We’re a finance blog, not a relationship blog, dammit!
*Sigh* But since I brought it up, I may as well give a few pointers.
Now, as many of you might have guessed, I’m not a psychologist, or a relationship expert by any means. All I can tell you is that we’ve given a LOT of suggestions to people. Most of the time, it was crap and didn’t do anything. But on a few occasions, our advice does help (shocking, I know). These are those few times.
Give Them an Identity
Most spouses don’t spend for the sake of spending. They spend because it gives them purpose.
There’s a reason “Retail Therapy” is a thing. Not only do people get a hit of dopamine when they acquire a new bag or video game, when they shop it makes them feel important. When they step onto a BMW dealership’s showroom floor and salespeople gather around them, they feel significant. “Consumer” is the easiest identity to attain because there’s no barrier to entry. But it IS costly.
A friend of mine had this problem. She gave up her career when she had a kid, and once the kid entered kindergarten she started feeling lost and listless. So surprise, surprise, she started engaging in Retail Therapy, and soon her credit card statements started adding up. She bought fishing equipment, and paintbrushes, and cameras, and yoga mats. She was trying so many hobbies to fill that void inside her but she couldn’t, and it was costing her a LOT of money.
So I suggested she just pick one. Pick one hobby that you’re the most interested in and just focus on that.
She picked yoga.
And when she did, she stopped spending on all that other crap. In fact, I helped her sell off most of it on eBay and got some of her money back. Her spending increased in yoga equipment though, but she ended up spending so much time on it that a few years later she got a job as a part-time yoga instructor.
Her spending was caused by her lack of Identity. But now she had one. She is a Yoga Instructor. So not only did her uncontrolled spending stop, she started MAKING money. All because of her Identity.
Build a Dream Together
This is the path FIRECracker and I took.
To readers of this blog, it’s no surprise that FIRECracker had a…let’s say…less than pleasant relationship with her job. So she took to the idea of Early Retirement like a pit-bull biting into a steak.
But I actually liked my job. So my initial reaction to the idea was…conflicted to say the least.
However, what she knew was that I, like most people, loved travelling. In fact, one of my biggest regrets (at the time) was that I never got to take any extended time off between school and work to backpack across Europe like a lot of my classmates did.
So FIRECracker, being the manipulative shrew she is, pitched it to me saying that if we managed to pull of this whole FIRE thing, the first thing we would do is take a one-year trip around the world to celebrate.
And with that, she had me onboard. Hook-line-and-sinker.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I call her a manipulative shrew in the nicest possible way. I had nearly forgotten about that whole pipe dream of travelling the world for a year. And she made me realize that if we did this, that pipe dream could actually come true!
That pipe dream, BTW, then spiralled into a much bigger, much cooler dream. Because we made that decision, we built this blog. And because we discovered that travelling around the world can be cheaper than living in North America, we now travel FOREVER.
Bribe Them With Their Own Money
Sometimes (actually, most of the time), our readers come up with WAY better ideas than we do. And this time, that idea comes from our intrepid reader Mark. In order to get his Spendy Spouse on board, he used the biggest, baddest weapon in his arsenal…which happened to be her biggest weakness: Spending money on useless shit.
So instead of fighting her, he rolled with resistance, offering a deal: Help me save money, and whatever we save you can take 25% of that and just blow it on ANYTHING you want guilt-free. Want that new Louis Vuitton bag? Go for it! Want to sail away on a cruise to the Caribbean? Sounds like fun! Want to hire a male gigolo? Err…how about a new bag, hun?
This way she gets to satiate her spending urges, while at the same time saving money without realizing it. Win-freaking-win!
Replace Them With a Robot
And if all else fails, as an absolute last resort, just replace your spouse with a robot! And I know, I know, people hear “robot spouses” and think “ew, sharp corners, and cold metal, and possible murder indictment,” but just remember people! This is 2017! Robots no longer look like this…
And instead now look more like this…
Just sayin…
What Does This Have to do With Frugal Hookups?
Oh, right that.
Well, recently a reader wrote into us asking “Hey, I get that Financial Independence is really important, but if you’re single and on the dating scene, how do you find someone who ALSO thinks Financial Independence is really important?”
Which is a really great question, actually. Think about it, there are plenty of clubs/bars/social groups that you can mingle and find people who have a like-minded interest in music/booze/Dungeons & Dragons or whatever, but how do you find people on the dating scene that are interested in Financial Independence?
Again: Damned if I know.
But a site like this might actually be the closest thing that exists. Because EVERYONE ON HERE is interested in Financial Independence, by definition.
So in honour of all the singles other there looking for their frugal halves, let’s try a (totally voluntary) social experiment.
Now, a better way to do this would be via frugal dating, something like “eFrugality.com” as our reader “FromUSA” suggested. But since that’s a project-in-the-making, we’re going to do the next best thing.
We’re going to try to start some frugal hookups right here on this site.
If you’re single, looking for that special FIRE’r out there, and feeling brave enough, post the following in the comments (huge thanks to reader Sara for inspiring these questions) :
- Age
- Sex
- One Interesting Fact About You
- Your Future Financial Goals
- Your biggest FIRE idol
- Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date
- The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner
- A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner
Good luck and may the frugal dating odds ever be in your favour!
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Fun post Wanderer. I’m already married and FIREd, but I wish everyone still searching good luck.
It wasn’t easy to find a frugal spouse. We still battle with bouts of Spendy Spouse occasionally…but now building wealth is almost a habit.
My advice for those searching? Don’t look for a person you have to change. That’s just asking for trouble. Find someone with the right background, culture, and general inclination toward money. They don’t have to know about FIRE, but they should at least be interested in building wealth.
1. I am 37
2. Male (seeking female) in the Greater Toronto Area
3. I’m a Chartered Accountant (CPA, CA) with a Masters in Accounting (MAcc)
4. I am planning to retire in the not too distant future (I have a certain number of years in mind but I don’t want to jinx it!)
5. Not idol status (sorry Firecracker!) but I do like what I have read from Firecracker
6. Let’s chat over dessert
7. I need someone that can understand and get on board with FIRE
8. Someone who can’t understand or get on board with FIRE would be a financial deal-breaker
Here is my dating profile and pics:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=121702454
For My Woman:
– One woman man
– Opens doors
– Carries heavy stuff
– Kills spiders
– One of the guys but will treat you like a lady
– Will stick up for you when it matters most
– Loves to make you laugh
– Wants to see you happy
– Wants to hear what is on your mind
– Will remember the things you like
– Won’t ever lie to you
– Good with finances
– Will do your tax return for free
fyhchan@outlook.com
Finding FI partners is heaps hard! Totally need communities based around this.
Age: 28
Sex: M
Location: West Coast, USA
One Interesting Fact About You: great college education without graduating high school or taking the SAT
Your Future Financial Goals: small place in (possibly expensive) city with great career opportunities of all sorts … or just outside of one with kids =)
Your biggest FIRE idol: jlcollinsnh
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: let’s cook together, and finesse lattes or steep some tea while we talk!
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: using financial independence for later risk taking and personal growth
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: debt, spending on lots of luxuries prior to FI (OK with some after!)
(not my real name)
Age: 25
Sex: F
Location: Carolinas, U.S.A.
One interesting fact: I love drinking hot water.
Future financial goals: *retire by 35
Biggest FIRE idol: (clearly) FIRECracker, MMM is a close second
Best idea for a frugal date: an ‘iron chef’ cooking date themed by leftovers from the fridge
Financial quality that is most important: an ambitious vision for the future
Deal-breaker: lack of discipline in executing financial goals
*retirement from main career, plan to start other businesses
Just have to say that I also love drinking plain, hot water :). It’s what I mostly drink all day at work. I’ve never met anyone else who likes this!
Age: 26
Sex: Male
Location: London, UK
One Interesting Fact About You:
I like skateboarding, photography and everything about investing. I’ve hit 6 digits net value at 26 and I’m aiming for a 7th.
Your Future Financial Goals:
Next goal 150k (close) followed by 200k, target is £1m.
Your biggest FIRE idol: You guys of course!
Your Best idea for a Frugal Date:
I can try and teach you skateboarding lol.
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner:
Her ability to be sensible about spending and shares the same desire for FIRE.
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Gambling addiction, bad debts.
You can read more about me on my okcupid profile:
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/malcr001
Too funny!
My wife and I are both on board with FI, clearly, but one of us is more the driver (me) and one is more the passenger on it. And there are a lot of things that she might want to do that are simply “work”, and I’m sure that if she pursues that the internet retirement police will have fun with that. I guess I’m saying that it’s great to be on the same page generally, but you’re still two different people with individual goals that will sometimes conflict with or cannibalize another. For me, it’s fine if very early retirement is ultimately not what my wife wants to do.
Still, totally agree with the main point of being generally on the same page re: frugality, where you want to live, if you’re one of those silly people who thinks renting is smart, stuff like that. 😉
Age: 37 – I’m not a Millenial – do I still get to play? 😉
Sex: Female (seeking Male)
Location: Washington, DC area but from the West Coast. I don’t plan to stay in the DC area after FI (or even necessarily up until I make FI) but haven’t yet figured out where I might want to settle after reaching FIRE.
One interesting fact about you: I grew up in Las Vegas – yes people live there! No I didn’t live in a casino!
Future financial goals: Late to the FIRE game but hoping to reach FI in 5-10 years (probably closer to 10 – I’m not as frugal as some although I make a good salary and have no debt so that helps). Intermediate goal is potentially to save enough so that I would feel comfortable switching jobs, even if it resulted in a lower income. I do want to travel after reaching FIRE, but not sure I want to travel full time – I travel now for work and based on that, I think full time travel without a home base would make me feel a bit too disconnected.
Biggest FIRE idol: Jim Collins – love his voice and how reasonable his advice is.
Best idea for a frugal date: Hiking followed by a home-cooked meal? Watching a DVD checked out from the library and a home-cooked meal? Going to a free museum followed by food at home? Anyone sense a pattern with the food?
Financial quality most important to you: I am vested in the whole FIRE idea and have made many changes to my life to get closer to that goal. However, it’s not my only goal so I work to balance that with other important goals (like health & wellness goals which sometimes involves money expenditures). Therefore, being committed to FIRE but not dogmatic about it is something I personally would find important.
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Someone who doesn’t work within a budget and who doesn’t have reasonable financial goals – they don’t have to be FIRE goals but a person should have some sort of financial goal and should be preparing for retirement even if they don’t plan on retiring until the traditional retirement age.
Thanks for the forum for this! I signed up to go the Ecuador Chautauqua (sorry FIRECracker & Wanderer but I have a family obligation in August so I can’t do the UK one) with the express purpose of wanting to meet others in the FIRE community, only to have to cancel due to unexpected work obligations being rescheduled to when I was supposed to be in Ecuador. So disappointing! Maybe next year. All the more reason to try to reach FIRE sooner so work can stop disrupting my fun! And hey, maybe this will inspire me to comment on more blogs and make connections that way.
I’m in the Washington DC area, too. In Maryland to be exact.
Where in DMV are you, if you don’t mind my asking?
I’m in Arlington, VA. Work in downtown DC. What part of Maryland are you in?
I’m kind of between Baltimore and DC.
If interested in FIRE chatting, drop me a line at FromUSA1507@gmail.com
Sorry – just saw this. Sent you an e-mail!
(1) Mid-30s
(2) An average guy (M)—founder of eFrugality.com, if it were to exist 🙂
(3) I get goosebumps when watching my favorite baseball team play—I can’t believe I just disclosed that in public. (A New York Yankees fan.) I got an advanced degree in engineering without ever taking one single math class while in college. Once upon a time, I also qualified for the US Olympic trials.
(4) Retire by 40 (I am already FI. I think.)
(5) Idols? Who else? The authors of this site. They did mention me in the post after all.
(6) My best idea for a frugal date is whatever a $300 bonus from opening a Bank of America checking account can get us. (http://tinyurl.com/kl6ey7a)
(7) Always check the monthly credit card statement item by item (someone who pays that much attention has got to be pretty frugal minded)
(8) Deal-breaker—someone who has never done (7)
(9) Where I am—East Coast, USA (though not New York)
(10) Where I want to be—wherever that has nicer weather than the East Coast, USA
re: #10
*whispers* Weeestt Cooooast
lol
We were in Vancouver about a year and a half ago for a business trip. It was gorgeous. The weather was perfect every day while we were there. We really lucked out. One of the best work trips I’ve ever had.
I’ve been thinking about travel hacking my way back, though the regular airfare is not too bad—$300-ish round trip from Washington DC.
(3) How do you feel about the Blue Jays?
(6) LOL. I am guessing you churn?
I do (7) every month too! Glad to see other people do too!
Hi FromUSA,
I’m obviously late to this rodeo, but I’m here and you sound interesting. I live in NYC but travel a lot to DC and Boston. Loving your answers. I think I do #7 every morning online? A few things about me: I spend less than half of what I make, I have lived in a lot of interesting places, and I hate clothes shopping (I take my friends’ hand-me-downs; I have fashionable friends!). Er, anyway, write back if you have any interest in learning more!
I think if you have frugal hobbies you’ll probably bump into a lot of frugal people. I imagine hiking, biking or canoeing/kayaking would get you exposure to below average spendiness. Heliskiing, probably not.
I also have to comment on the ads served up in this article. Two for Victoria Brides and one for mature ladies. Oh yeah!
> I imagine hiking, biking or canoeing/kayaking would get you exposure to below average spendiness.
except for those that would rather save 5lbs on a bike’s weight for an additional $3000 rather than work out in the garage to lose 20, etc.
a friend of mine listed “treats tech job as way to spend money at REI” in a pro/con list for significant others …
Ha ha, yes! I was on my phone so I couldn’t flesh out those caveats, but you’re right. Check out the outdoor gear they are rocking. If it’s a $4,000 bike and $3,000 of other gear then you at least know they LOOOOOOVE biking and have no problem spending shit tons of $$$ on their hobby. In itself, not a deal breaker (you could easily spend $4,000/yr on recreational shopping or casual dining out). 2nd hand kayak off craigslist stowed atop a 10 year old subaru with a home-built roof rack? Score! 🙂
But if they’re spending many many thousands on 4-5 hobbies, run!! 🙂 Like Wanderer mentioned “She bought fishing equipment, and paintbrushes, and cameras, and yoga mats. She was trying so many hobbies to fill that void inside her but she couldn’t, and it was costing her a LOT of money.”
No way you can spend that much time on each hobby to justify thousands of dollars each per year (well, maybe if you’re retired and don’t do anything else…).
I’d caution against being so quick to judge. I’m one of those people with 4-5 “expensive” hobbies. I have a $3000 mountain bike, a $1500 road bike, $1500 in climbing gear, and easily a few thousand in lightweight camping/backpacking gear. But I’m also well on my way to being FI, and saving 40% of my income each year. All of my gear I’ve used (or will use) literally hundreds of times. Some of my gear is over 10 years old and I’m still using it. My bikes I’ll ride into the ground before replacing them. Yes the gear is expensive, but amortized over it’s lifespan and the number of times I use it, it’s dirt cheap for the amount of fun I get out of it. Maybe buying it will delay my retirement by a year or two, but if I enjoy my life 100x more (I truly love all the things I use the gear for) by having and using that “expensive” gear, then it’s more than worth it. Context is key. Just because someone has a lot of gear, doesn’t mean they’re spendy!
Really? That’s funny. Google Adsense is weird and mysterious that way.
Age: Past the Millenial best before date
Sex: Female (looking for a male)
Location: Toronto
One interesting fact about me: I lived in the south of France for a couple of years
Your future financial goals: Making plans to kiss my job goodbye. Can leave as early as 9 months or as late as 7 years, depending on what I want my post-work future to look like. Decisions, decisions…..
Your biggest FIRE idol: I’m new to reading personal finance blogs but I think Jim Collins resonates most with me.
Your best idea for a frugal date: Cycle down to the lake, share a picnic and bottle of red wine while watching the sun go down.
The financial quality that is most important to me in a partner: Someone that recognizes that money is the facilitator that let’s you live a happy and interesting life.
A financial deal-breaker in a partner: Someone that is just focused on frugality and forgets to live a happy and interesting life.
Hi Veronica,
I found your post very appealing. I would like to hear about your time in France.
As for me
Age : 40 (almost)
Sex: Male
Interesting fact: Ive had the same employer for over 20 years.
Financial goals: Keep putting faith in my financial advisor which gives me the freedom to enjoy more of my own time. things change when your my age.
FIRE idol: i’m a fan of greaterfool.ca
Frugal date: A night in with my better than average cooking skills.
Financial quality in a partner: someone who is grateful to be FI or well on their way to being FI.
Deal breaker: Dishonesty & poor communication. Let’s face it relationships are hard. Both members need to be clear with their intentions.
Ttyl ?
Hi John
You didn’t mention your location, but I’m assuming Toronto. If yes, let’s talk! Contact me at gonewalkabout2015- at – gmail and you know the rest. 🙂
Age: 41
Sex: Male
One Interesting Fact About You: I love writing, recording, and performing music (and have been playing guitar since I was 12).
Your Future Financial Goals: FI by 45!! I don’t “hate” my job but I also don’t “love” it. I’d rather have the freedom to work on music, travel full time, and work on social causes that have a direct impact on society.
Your biggest FIRE idol: GoCurryCracker
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: Go on a day hike in the Columbia River Gorge (which is just outside of where I live in Portland, OR), which has some of the most beautiful and expansive scenery I’ve ever witnessed.
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Prioritizing freedom over “fitting in” and conventional thought.
Do you have a favorite hike in the gorge? mine is probably Eagle creek but only if you start at day break before the crowds come out.
Yes, Eagle Creek is probably my all-time favorite as well :). When going a bit further on the hike (past Tunnel Falls), the crowds tend to thin out a bit :).
Mt. Hood has some wonderful, shorter day hikes as well. But they take a little longer to drive to.
Ah yes I have stayed overnight up past tunnel falls. It is super nice and relatively quiet. I haven’t done much hiking up near Mt. Hood other than snowshoeing in the winter.
Have you been to Opal creek? It is pretty amazing as well!
I have not! But it is now on my short list 🙂
Sure, why the shit not!
Age: 31
Sex: F
Location: Vancouver, BC (actually I live in a more affordable suburb, but what’evs)
One Interesting Fact About You: I have dual citizenship (Canada/USA) because I have American parents but was born in Canada.
Your Future Financial Goals: Be able to retire, or at the very least semi-retire, from having a full time job by 45. Pursue my acting career in Vancouver, or move to New York.
Your biggest FIRE idol: Mike & Lauren (https://www.youtube.com/user/MikeAndLaurenTV)
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: A movie at home. People-watching can be fun. Going for a walk in a beautiful park and having a good discussion. Cheap eats somewhere funky. Berry picking? Swim in a lake? I feel like this is a highly seasonal question.
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Being wealthy in every aspect of the word. Understanding that money is a tool with which you can live an incredible life. Generosity, having a positive attitude, taking steps to work on yourself and become a better person (ie. personal growth/development).
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Someone who ALWAYS insists on only the cheapest option for EVERYTHING, EVERY TIME, no matter what. I believe that it’s okay to spend a bit more on things that you truly value, from time to time, within reason. You have to know who you are and what’s important to you. Also someone who dumpster dives, because that’s fucking gross.
“Understanding that money is a tool with which you can live an incredible life”
Money == Options. That’s all it is. Still doesn’t guarantee anything, but the more money you have, the more options you have. I’ve always believed.
Hey Natalie,
Looks like we are on the same boat in Vancouver. Shoot me an email and let’s chat!
Just posted my profile in comments. fitraveller007@gmail.com
I emailed you 🙂
Hey Natalie, just came across your post. Any way to get in touch?
Ya you bet! I’ll give you my seldom-used, alternative email address – soulambition111@gmail.com 🙂
[1] 38 this year
[2] Male (Seeking Female)
[3] I live in Melbourne but am a Singapore citizen.
[4] To FIRE as soon as possible
[5] MMM!
[6] Cooking, eating together and having a great time!
[7] Willing to build wealth together
[8] Wants him to build wealth while she fritters it away on luxury items that we don’t need!
Happily married here so no poll for me. ? I have advice for those still searching for the partner of your dreams: Be who you are, Be who you are, Be who you are! Did I mention you need to BE YOU? Live exactly like you want to live, with or without a partner, and you will find like mind souls. If you don’t plan on spending most Fridays nights at the bar knocking back expensive drinks…don’t go there looking for a spouse. If you only eat out using a coupon, whip that coupon out on a first date and you will find out who is on board, especially when you explain you aren’t cheap but you are building a future that involves financial independence.
The biggest mistake I see people make is trying to be what they imagine another wants or might be attracted to. That is doomed to fail as we can only pretend for so long. Be who you are openly, gloriously and without apology and the person who likes you as you are is worth your time to investigate.
thank you for the wise words.
Nicole
Age: 23
Sex: Female – looking for male
Location: Southern Ontario – about an hour southwest of Toronto
One Interesting Fact About You: I am moving to China come August to teach and pursue my financial career/lifestyle that makes me happy
Your Future Financial Goals: to invest more/be less afraid to invest my hard earned money
Your biggest FIRE idol: These guys – they are Canadian, they are awesome, and they are living the dream
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: hiking or a stroll through the park (maybe with a Tim’s hot chocolate in hand!)
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: someone who wants to relax and enjoy life while being smart about their money to make lots of it! (and help others too, if we have some extra- good karma 🙂 )
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: someone who doesn’t keep track of their spending and who doesn’t think long term about where they want to be or their goals for their money!
Let’s meet up in Toronto!
Fortunately I’m married to a (fairly) supportive wife so no poll for me either.
I think the main issue I have run into with my spouse is that she never feels any tangible benefit to saving money now. ALL of the benefits are years/decades away, and no matter what people say, you have to make sacrifices day in, day out in order to reach that FI goal. The key is to balance it so you don’t feel like you’re sacrificing too much, but you’re also saving a significant chunk of money.
My main advice to someone in a relationship with a spouse who isn’t entirely on board is to give it time and try to highlight where FI would benefit both your lives when the situation arises. Don’t force it down your spouses throat day in day out, be patient and gradual. If you are in a healthy relationship, compromise is something you should be practicing anyway and this is just another area for it. You have to give and take though, your partner might have their own dreams to consider.
My wife initially thought nothing of it when I mentioned FI, that I wasn’t serious and that it was some far flung dream. When I first wanted to budget our money, she thought it was stupid. I persisted though and gradually over time she has noticed how much money we wasted in certain areas and we’ve made many adjustments over several years. Now we have monthly reviews of our budget and she is actually making a concerted effort to reduce our spending, more than me in some regards. We’ve gotten rid of cable TV, moved to cheap phone plans, restricted our spending on restaurants, significantly reduced the amount we spend on gifts for each other (and family), reduced the amount we both spend on lunches/snacks/coffee shops etc. and many other areas of our life. Her happiness hasn’t waned and neither has mine. She’s even looking at moving apartment to save on rent, despite a significant salary increase recently. We have, however, increased our travel budget a lot, that was a compromise we both wanted and something we value. Now when she sees how much our investments are piling up, shes astonished how fast it’s growing, and that is motivating her even more to save more money. I don’t think she truly realizes how much money we are saving every month by chasing FI.
It’s an ongoing, lifelong endeavor (even when you reach retirement) and you’ll have to compromise constantly along the way. However, as time has passed, I’ve noticed my wife get more and more on board, to the point I think it’s secretly becoming her goal too. Hopefully when you reach retirement you can enjoy the fruits of your labour though.
I plan to retire with more money than we need and improve our lifestyle at that point. Personally I don’t see the point in making sacrifices throughout your life to reach an early retirement, only to make sacrifices again in retirement. I don’t want retirement to be the same as when I worked with more free time, I want my retirement to be a wealthy one, where I have more money to spend each year than I did before retiring. This might add a few years to retirement, but if that means an extra $20,000 a year to spend on, say, traveling the world, that’s worth it in my books. I’d rather retire at 40 with $60,000 a year to spend for the rest of my life than 35 with $40,000 a year.
Love your comment, Vancouver Brit! My husband and I are also in the path to FI. I’m a bit of a bigger spender than he is but I’m obsessed with FI right now and doing my best to cut my spending (which is mostly on food, I’m addicted to eating out, what can I say?). Our goal is to retire at 45 – wish it was sooner but that could be possible, it will depend on promotions/salary increases throughout the upcoming years. Life is too short to spend it in the rat race. Good luck to your and the Mrs! 🙂
Everyone has a weakness and it’s great that you’re aware of it, too many people are blind to their spending. I wouldn’t say give up on your eating out, just make sure it is reasonable and try to stick to an agreed upon amount. One of our weaknesses is we always like to order takeaway on Fridays to end the week. It’s an area we could probably save $100 a month or so but at the end of the day we both enjoy it and getting rid of it would feel like a sacrifice.
I like to think one persons strength is another persons weakness, for example we aren’t drinkers so we spend $0 on alcohol, including nights out at bars. We’re also not coffee drinkers, so we spend nothing on coffee shops and we’re not big into shopping so we spend very little on clothes etc. We’re saving a lot of money in certain areas compared to other people, but we do like takeaways now and then and I don’t see the big harm in indulging in one weakness as long as you’re not indulging in several. You might have to sacrifice in one or two other areas to give that wiggle room to indulge in eating in restaurants more frequently.
Good luck on your 45 goal! That could actually be around where we end up retiring. We’re only 28 though so who knows, but if we maintain our current rate we’ll be around there. That being said, I think I’ll be the kind of person to work a few extra years to build up the portfolio even more to enjoy a nicer retirement. It’s crazy how much an extra couple of years increases your portfolio. For example, if we retired at 45 we might have $1.5 million, however if we retired at 48, it would be closer to $2.1 million. That’s an extra $24,000 spending a year, forever, just by working another 3 years. Tempting!
1. Age – 32
2. Sex – M
3. One Interesting Fact About You – I recently quit engineering to pursue pastry school
4. Your Future Financial Goals – Reach $600k before 65?
5. Your biggest FIRE idol – I don’t really follow FIRE blogs. Greaterfool is the only blog that I follow religiously.
6. Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date – Baking together?
7. The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner – Financial management but I’m most interested in the personality
8. A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner – Someone that spends like crazy
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Interesting fact: I like extreme sports and interesting people
Financial goals: FI by 35
Favorite FI blogger: MMM! Because it’s about lifestyle more than numbers
Cheap date: yes. haha, but I’d like to hang out at beach then BBQ at home
Most important financial quality: Diligence on every purchase. I don’t mind spending money in the right places, FI is to maximize happiness, not play another numbers game.
Red flag: Spending money to impress other people…
Age: 23
Sex: Male (seeking female)
One Interesting Fact About You: I spent the first 103 days of my life in the ICU and have had 16 surgeries. Haven’t had one in 10 or so years though.
Your Future Financial Goals: I’d like to get to 2 million in net worth if I can (with a spouse of course). I’d like to live comfortably but practical too.
Your biggest FIRE idol: Ed Mills (MillionaireEducator.com)
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: Cooking dinner, watching a movie, cuddling after. Going out to eat is nice but often expensive and there’s plenty of solid movies on Netflix.
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Being willing to induldge in hobbies but to be happy with doing so somewhat affordable.
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Over-excessive spending on clothing. I think often people spend way too much on clothing. I’d prioritize quality instead of quantity. Especially if it will be used for a long time.
Also, I’m going to be a teacher for at least the first 5-10 years of my life. After that, I’m not sure but I’d be open to passive income opportunities.
Age 25
Male (seeking female)
Toronto, Ontario
Interesting fact: im a real estate investor
Future financial goals: FI by 35 to leave the corporate world and start by own business
Financial role model: Scotty McG
Date idea: home cooked pizza with bottle of vino with a movie
Financial quality in partner: same goals and passion for FI
Deal breaker: Giving up because something is hard or difficult
Age: 30 (learned about FI late, a little over a year ago)
Sex: F
One Interesting Fact About You: I’m a dual citizen? speak 3 languages? vegetarian going on 16 years? love puppies? can’t distinguish red from green?
Your Future Financial Goals: FI by 39-40 w/800k.
Your biggest FIRE idol: Go Curry Cracker is how I discovered FI, so I have to hand it to them.
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: a walk or hike
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: being bought into FI and actively working towards it.
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: the average American consumer.
Age: 65. Attractive, healthy woman who has achieved FI. Widow whose marriage was epic and whose husband was an enthusiastic partner in achieving FI goals. Rebuilding and reinventing a new life. Admire Mr. Money Moustache. Firecracker and of course, the inspirational JL Collins. I would highly value a new relationship with a man who gets life’s subtext, who values deep love over any material wealth and who wishes for engagement, adventure, laughter and delight.
Oh, first date would be a great walk followed by a meal at home and a glass of wine. Financial goals…we should share FI understanding and have achieved our life goals. Deal breaker? No joy, no dreams, no laughter and no silliness.
[1] Age: 22
[2] Sex: Female (Lesbian)
[2.5] Location: Okanagan Valley, Canada
[3] Interesting fact: Sometimes I run around the Canadian wilderness throwing axes and knives (it’s called hawk & knife throw), super fun, for the record. But honestly I’m mostly a nerd whose apartment is a shrine to BBC shows, to avoid being misleading.
[4] Goal: FI by 35 (though I don’t actually want to retire at that point, just be free to pursue any and all of my passions)
[5] FIRE idol: tie between FIREcracker and Paula Pant
[6] Frugal Date: Care to run around the wilderness throwing axes and knives? I promise it’s more fun and less dangerous than it sounds.
[7] Financial Quality: Passion for FI/similar goals
[8] Deal-Breaker: Lack of drive
“Sometimes I run around the Canadian wilderness throwing axes and knives”
Best. Sentence. Ever.
Yup.
plus 1 that.
*impressed, but slightly intimidated.
“Care to run around the wilderness throwing axes and knives?”
Yes! Sounds like a rad time!
Super late to the party since I’m binge reading this amazing blog, but this was too cool not to comment.
1.Age : 37
2.Sex: Male (seeking for female) in Montreal – Canada (at least for now)
3.One Interesting Fact About You: grew up in a poor country. When you guys say grewing up as poor makes you a money badass, i can totally relate. I’ve moved 3 times since graduating for work and i’m totaly a disciple and fan of the Flag Theory.
4.Your Future Financial Goals: saving enough to have “F*ck You Money” attitude as i love my work but i’m in a shark tank industry. Hopefully in 5years or so.
5.Your biggest FIRE idol : a frankenstein monster mix of JLCollins (for the F*ck you money attitude) with MMM and GoCurryCracker (for the DIY and constant experimentation and optimization) and FIRECracker&Wanderer(for the laser focus -diligence and the shit out the math out of it attitude). That would be a freaking awesome beast.
6.Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date : keep it simple with a picnic basket in a park or after a hike. Nature is a true beauty and we don’t appreciate it too much.
7.The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner : it’s not about the money. Money can’t buy you happiness but don’t spend it on crap things. Money is a currency to buy your freedom and buy back time.
8.Deal-Breaker in a Partner : someone who is about showing off and wants to keep up with the joneses. That’s typically a spendy person.
Age: 41
Male seeking female
SF Bay Area (East Bay), California
Interesting facts: I run ultra marathons and brew my own beer at home
Financial goals: Actually quitting my job! I think I’m FI now, depending on what assumptions I make, but I still haven’t pulled the trigger yet…
FIRE idol: MMM got me started, but I’ve really been geeking out recently on some of Mad Fientist’s stuff on accessing retirement funds early, backdoor Roths, Mega backdoor Roths, etc.
Frugal date idea: Sunset hike in the hills overlooking the SF bay & enjoying some homebrew beer at the top!
Financial quality: Willingness to learn
Deal breaker: none if she has the financial quality above!
Great perspective on this one Wanderer!
1. Age-27 & very single
2. Sex-F
3. Location-California
4. One Interesting Fact About You-I am insanely competitive in board games. I blame it on growing up with 4 siblings. Favorite board games you might ask, Monopoly and Settlers of Catan.
5. Your Future Financial Goals-To be able to retire at 40 and work on my passion projects full time.
6. Your biggest FIRE idol- FIRECracker (she’s my spirit animal) and I absolutely love her sass!
7. Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date-Listening to a local band play at open mic night, homemade dinner, sightseeing, hiking, reading poetry (does anyone do that anymore?)
8. The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner-Someone who has balance in their life and doesn’t forget to live. Sometimes when I’m reading a lot of different financial blogs or comments, I sense that people are super ‘hardcore’ savers that they starve themselves of the things that they really want in life. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself a hardcore budgeter but I also like to go on nice trips and have nice things in life. Also, humility with money is a great quality!
9. A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner- Someone who doesn’t have a goal for their money.
Holly,
I think it’s time someone responded to your incredible post. So glad you love Catan; everyone should. It may be my favorite board game.
Listening to a local band play at open mic night + homemade dinner? 3 thumbs up.
So you live in Cali…. what sort of “nice trips” have you been on?
Hi Holly, I’m also based in California, San Jose to be exact. Would you please send me a message on IG: mateoraft if you’re interested in meeting when I’m back next year? I’m always looking to make friends and coffee is always on me.
1.Age: 46
2.Sex: Male-Single
3.One Interesting Fact About You: I own 1 thousandth of 1 percent of Starbucks Corporation
4.Your Future Financial Goals: $3M in investible assets by age 50
5.Your biggest FIRE idol: I’ve been following GreaterFool, but I’m really starting to love the millennial revolution, A COUPLE OF GOOD CANADIAN KIDS ! (in my best Don Cherry voice)
6.Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: Go to the Museum or Art Gallery(Ahem,… when there is free admission)
7.The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Working hard and appreciating the value of a dollar.
8.A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: A spendthrift, or keeping a balance on a credit card.
1) Age – late forties
2) Sex – m seeking f
3) One Interesting Fact About You – I used to fly light aircraft, when I was training to be a commercial pilot
4) Your Future Financial Goals – paid for property, car and a portfolio large enough to never have to work while taking 4% (not that I intend to retire and just sit on a beach – I’ll likely always continue working, but not have to. With all your living costs covered from a growing portfolio, money from the work you are doing is 100% fun money)
5) Your biggest FIRE idol – firecracker and wanderer for travelling the work with nothing but small backpacks
6) Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date – a walk on the beach followed by fish and chips
7) The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner – balancing frugality and minimalism while having fun. It’s ok to spend money on things that matter to you and luxury items if they are worth it.
8) A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner – keeping up with the joneses
I got mentioned in a Millennial Revolution post…I feel so cool right now!
*does happy dance*
Wait, if I’m going to be cool now, I need to act cool.
*puts on sunglasses…continues happy dance in style*
That’s because you ARE cool.
This is a friggin’ need of the hour Wanderer! Imagine how many singles could be accelerated into FIREdom with this! But this ain’t the way to do it. If you are serious about building a proper website with search engine, like eHarmony for Frugalists, let’s do it together. I will also put in money as investor for this venture and we can build a bespoke matchmaking service. Mail me for further discussion and to flesh this idea better.
The thought has crossed my mind, but I can’t take on another coding project right now. Maybe in a few months…
1. Age 31
2. Sex F
3. Currently NYC but love exploring other cities (Brit born USA lover so now dual citizen ~ so would happily live anywhere that would allow)
4. One Interesting Fact About You: Huge fitness health enthusiast so gotta be with someone who shares that passion aka I run marathons, participate in fitness competitions, practice yoga, meditation, dance, pilates…eat all organic, love cooking, trying new foods, exploring all healthy eating styles (paleo, keto, vegan, IF, Bulletproof…), spend all my free time dedicated to this passion
5. Your Future Financial Goals: Firstly pay off grad school debt Second FI ASAP Third live in London/NYC/LA in some kind of combination (although COL is horrendous so open to this changing)
6. Your biggest FIRE idol: gotta go with a combo here: Doug Nordman for his awesome chilldness. Mad Fientist cos of his great podcast and that he lives in Scotland with his wife (I’m a Brit so I’m bias), J Money (cos he makes finance crazy/fun/cool and he’s funny as hell), and of course yoda aka Mr. MM
7. Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: cooked meal at home & netflix…and I don’t drink so I’m a cheap date 🙂
8. The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Not quite answering the question. But I am a junkie for not eating out when I can make a better meal I enjoy at home, not using transportation if i can walk and if I do its train definitely not taxi, paying excessive amounts for things that generally there is a clearer better option. Loves exploring new ways to hack their costs. One I’m playing around with right now is working part time at a gym to get a free membership. Given my interests it seems like a no brainer.
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: I dated a guy who felt it was below him to take home leftovers from a dinner out…that is ridiculous…
Whoa, I figured I’d find someone from NYC posting, but I didn’t expect such close alignment in answers! If what you see in my answers interests you, feel free to shoot me an email: pablo DOT navigante AT gmail DOT com (Not my regular email, but the one I feel OK posting publicly.)
1. Age: 28 in May
2. Sex: M
3. Location: Queens, NYC
4. Interesting fact: I’m a vegan runner with 2 marathons under my belt. I try to do a YouTube-based yoga session and meditate for 10 mins. daily (though currently more like 3-4 times/week).
5. Future financial goals: Use my company’s tuition assistance benefit to pay for 95-100% of the graduate certificate program I hope to start in the fall; accumulate enough to comfortably leave my corporate job for a pay cut and a low-stress role at a non-profit focused on the environment/food systems/running/bicycling; tour the United States (and maybe other countries too!) by bicycle.
6. Biggest FIRE Idol: I feel I haven’t experienced enough of the community yet to pick someone for sure, but I really enjoy MMM’s views on bicycling and approach to frugality through ingenuity.
7. Best idea for a frugal date: A run or bike ride (or walk) on the Hudson River Greenway or through an NYC neighborhood that neither of us have fully experienced.
8. Most important financial quality in a partner: When spending, spends sensibly on quality items and experiences., rather than just the cheapest. i.e., organic food over cheap processed food; durable, repairable coat from Patagonia vs. cheap, fashionable coat from H&M
9. Financial deal-breaker in a partner: They treat their credit card like it’s cash/free money.
Oh, and sometimes bring containers with me when going to eat out. It’s frugal, green, and helps keep me from over eating!
haha, this post is fantastic! I met my husband through Meetup.com in a backpacking group. That turned out really well for us! 😉 I am sure there are other hobby groups that may have some hidden FIREs!
Is this issue that big of a problem?
*shrug* Apparently
LOL, what a great idea guys! Excellent point though, the FIRE mentality is so difficult to find. Its like hunting down a unicorn 🙂
Age: 28
Sex: F
Location: the best coast (west :D)
One Interesting Fact About You: board games give me anxiety 🙁
Your Future Financial Goals: 1mil and 5 rental properties by 35
Your biggest FIRE idol: Paula Pant, jcollins
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: walk in the park, feed the ducks, and have a picnic 🙂
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: having goals. never paying full price 🙂
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: spending money purely for status symbols
Do you happen to be on the Canadian West Coast? Or the American one? It truly is the best coast though, on both sides of the border. I’m up in Vancouver, if that’s anywhere near you.
On the American west coast! Definitely agree.
Why the hell not? Gotta be some gay boys out there in the six with a financial plan and no credit card debt.
Age: 37
Sex: male (seeking male)
Location: Toronto (formerly Montreal)
One Interesting Fact About You: was advised to flee a country on the advice of the Canadian embassy
Your Future Financial Goals: to work because I want to, not because I have to
Your biggest FIRE idol: I think Gail Vaz Oxlade was an early inspiration
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: who doesn’t love a picnic?
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: balance between frugal without having to keep score and track every penny
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: unwillingness or inability to communicate openly and commit to a shared (but not necessarily commingled) financial vision
…”advised to flee a country on the advice of the Canadian embassy”.
For real? I TOTALLY want to hear that story! I’ll pay for the pint. Not a date, I just want to hear the story.
I was scrolling looking for a FI focused gay. Haha. Shoot me an email if you want. nateflick@gmail.com
Age: 30
Sex: M
Location: Toronto or Vancouver
One Interesting Fact About You: I can change a flat bike tire
Your Future Financial Goals: FIRE in 2-3 years and slow travel the world; pursue other interests
Your biggest FIRE idol: MMM, ERE, FIREcracker
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: Hiking
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Understands time-value of money and delayed gratification
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: Massive consumer debt
1. 31
2. Male (seeking female)
3. Interesting fact: I am one of “those people” with a lot of expensive outdoor gear. But I’ve used it all hundreds of times, keep it forever, and once you have it, there are pretty much endless “frugal” adventures you can have!
4. Future financial goals: Work at a job I love (sustainability), have a great work life balance and do the things I love, save lots until I’m financially independent, and then keep working (I believe my work is super important) but work less and spend more time with my eventual family, and include travelling and volunteering.
5. Idol: Probably you guys. I was already on my way to FI, but didn’t realize it was a “thing” where you could have “idols”, haha. Learn something new every day!
6. Frugal Date: Hiking, climbing, biking, or other outdoor activity. Or something like slacklining, which always results in laughing.
7. Important financial quality in a partner: Not spendy. But willing to buy high quality things/gear that you’ll use a lot, even if they’re expensive, and then keep them forever (or until they finally eventually fall apart and can’t be fixed).
8. Financial deal breaker: Frivolously spendy.
And….. I’m in Vancouver, BC, Canada
I live in Vancouver too and work in the Environmental field, so I’m interested in what job in sustainability you have. Also very cool you are so into the outdoors. I need to meet more people like that here to show me the ropes! Pun intended 😉
haha, nice one ;-). I do like ropes. Send me an email… manofadventure8@gmail.com
That’s not my actual email, but it’s the one I’m willing to post in a public forum!
1. Age :31
2. Sex: F (seeking male)
3. Location: near Chicago
4. One Interesting Fact About You: Moved alone to US at the age of 19 (with no money) from a small European country. Put myself through school and now I have a great job I enjoy.
5. Your Future Financial Goals: Become financially independent. Retire early and have more flexible work schedule – where I can take few months off per year.
6. Your biggest FIRE idol: JLCollins
7. Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: anything outdoors – I love hiking.
8. The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: someone who knows how to save and also spend money wisely (it’s all about balance). Someone who is not impressed by material things or tries to keep up with the Joneses.
9. A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: huge consumer debt. Being dishonest.
Hey Lily. You sound really interesting. It’s quite an achievement to move to a new country by yourself with no money at the age of 19. Is there anyway I can get in contact with you?
1. 26
2. F (seeking F or M/pretty gay). Location: UT
3. I played at the World Ultimate Frisbee Club Championship in Prague.
4. FI by 30. Stash more cash. Do all the things I’m passionate about at 40.
5. Jakob from ERE. MMM.
6. Hike. Make dinner together.
7. Not caring about what others think. Not caring about having fancy things
8. Not willing to make our own food. Wanting a luxurious home.
do you happen to be “a rocker”? Just curious …
Your getting on board the FI train sounds eerily familiar. Mr.Wow was all aboard long before I even knew what it was. I love my job, but really wanted to travel (long-term). He told me that we could travel if we were FI. Yep, hook-line- and sinker, for me too! In a world where most people do not understand FIRE, its nice to have partner-in-crime on the same mission.
Ha ha. world travel = offer you can’t refuse. Resistance is futile! 🙂
Age – 41
Sex – M seeking F
Location – Ontario, Canada
One Interesting Fact About You – slept outside in the Sahara on a mattress under the stars
Your Future Financial Goals – retire in 8 years
Your biggest FIRE idol – MMM, you guys!, and Garth Turner
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date – hiking surrounded by nature (unless it’s -20 out, then coffee will do!)
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner – not caring about having fancy things and fancy people’s opinions
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner – caring about having fancy things and fancy people’s opinions, oh and complete financial illiteracy
Age – 28
Sex – Male seeking Female
Location – Toronto, Canada
One Interesting Fact About You –
I’m kind of a funny oddball I suppose!
Your Future Financial Goals –
Trying to be able to rent a studio while maintaining a 60% saving rate, must be easier if splitting!
Your biggest FIRE idol –
Larry Page, Elon Musk, MMM and Mr.1500
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date –
Walk around the city looking for interesting things that does not cost much $, stay at home and watch shows together, play games together
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner –
I’m hoping my partner will also care about staying healthy and be somewhat active, as health is also wealth! Financial-wise, if we can have similar goals and continue to grow ourselves professionally it would be awesome
Age: 25
Sex: M
Location: Bay Area California
3. Fluent in Chinese and love to dance Bachata
4. Retire before 30
5. My roommates Jing and Augustin
6. Homemade dinner, estate sale searching, hiking, volunteer farming
7. Someone who is self-reliant, knowledgeable -or at least curious, and exercises self-control.
8. Large debt (except a mortgage and education)
Wow Wanderer, this post is blowing up. You are onto something.
Anyways, I’m down to play.
Age: 32 ( recently on board with the FI train, trying to tone down my champaign taste/ lifestyle)
Sex: F ( looking for F or M, adventure buddies 1st, and let see where it goes)
Location: Rocky Mountain, USA
One Interesting Fact About You: Equal part Bourgeoisie and “dirtbag” adventurer. Basically I can be comfortable sipping cocktails at the Modern or cliff jumping off an island.
Your Future Financial Goals: I make a decent salary now, but I need a strategy to get to FI by 45, so I can be free to work and pursue projects I’m passionate about with long term travel sprinkle in between.
Your biggest FIRE idol: Millennial Revolution ( This blog is how I got hook into the FI lifestyle)
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: backpacking (with all your food and shelter on your back) to find a natural hot spring, build a fire, watch sunset/ sunrise from our tent ( sipping gourmet coffee/ hot chocolate).
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Honesty and balance between practical savings and spending on things/ experiences that bring you happiness. ( not always being a penny pincher or stressing out about $$)
A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner: valuing money over life experiences and human relationship
Sounds like you might be close to me! How close are you to Boulder?
Pretty close. I went hiking in the Flat irons last weekend.
I’m sorry it took me a while to respond. I’m excited there is an FI fan in the Front Range. Glad you were able to get a hike in at the Flatirons before the snow came this week. Let’s have a cup of coffee and plan an adventure. Email me at olympus5510@gmail.com
Sounds sexy.
Age–Low 30’s
Sex–Yes, please…….I mean “male”.
Interesting fact–My identity seems to revolve around the letter “B”. I am a blogger, a banker, and a business owner.
Future financial goal–Achieve early financial freedom
Biggest FIRE idol–Tough to say. I think I’m sort of obligated to say Jason Fieber mainly because his philosophy towards work and investing are nearly identical to mine, and I learned all about the merits of dividend investing, financial freedom, and frugal living from Dividend Mantra.
Frugal date–Going into a park (not a dark and rapey one, but a fairly active and hipster/artsy one) and seeing a show, then getting ice cream cones and walking around. I either really just turned someone on or really turned someone off with that.
Best financial quality–If not having the same philosophy as me, then at least recognizing that spending more doesn’t necessarily lead to more happiness. If I don’t want to spend money, it’s not because I’m cheap. It’s because I don’t see value for what I’m paying and I have higher priorities for that money.
Financial turnoff–Someone who pisses away money and chides me for not doing the same.
Sincerely,
ARB–Angry Retail Banker
Hi ARB, your date idea turned me on :p My intro is in one of the above comments (if you feel like scrolling through to find it!). Care to chat? I can be reached at soulambition111 at gmail dot com
This blog is getting us all hot and bothered.
Bow-chicka-wow-WOW.
Great initiative and really touching “the” major topic 😉
1. Age: 41
2. Sex: M
3. Location: German saver living in “all-consumption” Tokyo, loves aviation and travel.
4. FIRE
5. Firecracker and Wanderer because of their appealing website!
6. Picknick in the park under cherry trees, enjoying nature, chatting about online auctions vs alibaba
7. Passionate but disciplined, knowledgeable -or at least curious, an investment mind.
8. No sense of money / large debt (without an investment story) / superspender.
Curious to see who and how people reply.
I really enjoy thinking out of the box and becoming optimistic about future freedom!
Best from the flying lawyer.
1. Age – 31
2. Sex – F (looking for M)
3. One Interesting Fact About You – I’m a physician. Live in Toronto currently but originally from Vancouver.
4. Your Future Financial Goals – I like my job most of the time, but I want F-You money so that I can do as much or as little of it on my own terms. Life is too short. And yes, I want to travel the world too!
5. Your biggest FIRE idol – I found MMM first, but FIREcracker is pretty BadAss!
6. Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date – cooking nice dinner at home or going hiking in the mountains or by the water.
7. The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner – willing to actually look at a spreadsheet. They don’t need to know a lot – just need to be willing to learn.
8. A Financial Deal-Breaker in a Partner – Too materialistic (more common). But less commonly, people who are so cheap they can’t see the forest for the trees. I believe money is not an end in itself – it’s a tool to give you the life you want.
Hey, just came across your post. Anyway to get in touch?
Looks like I am late to the party. Good idea guys, frugal dating is tough!!
Age:38
Sex: M
Location: Greater Vancouver
One interesting fact about you: I like to do dance (salsa, tango…etc)
Your future financial goals: Looking at retirement in 5-7 years
Your biggest FIRE idol: Firecracker & Wanderer obviously 😉
Your best idea for a frugal date: Going for a hike on a warm sunny day
The Financial quality that’s most important to you in a partner: Know how to spend money wisely, not on things but on awesome experiences or adventures
A financial deal-breaker in a partner: Someone with lots of credit card debts and not aware of their overall financial picture
1. 25
2. Male
3. Love baking sourdough bread
4. Full FI within 7 years
5. My housemates, Jing and Augustin
6. Coffee/tea in the park, cooking dinner, dancing, watching the sunset, or hiking
7. Financially savvy OR ability and interest to learn
8. Lots of debt, willful ignorance, misaligned financial priorities
Not even sure this will even be viewed since I discovered this post late, but here it goes!
Age- 35
Sex- 2nd gen Asian F seeking M
One Interesting Fact About You- Engineer working in Toronto, ON who became debt free by 32 (no mortgage, no car loan, no student loan, no LOC, no credit card debts)
Your Future Financial Goals- FI by 45 while still being able to travel and live comfortably today and for the future
Your biggest FIRE idol- Started with GailVazOxlade and Suzy Orman, but FIRE is sure growing on me!
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date- Explore a local free summer festival followed by a walk by the waterfront to watch the sunset
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner- Be a Saver who has similar goals for FI
A Financial Deal Breaker in a Partner- A Spender or Cheapskate
Hey Kat,
I’m also an Engineer in Toronto. Anyway to get in touch with you?
Thanks!
Sorry for the late reply. I forgot to check that email account in a while…if you still want to touch base…email is katpeony@gmail.com…
1. I am 37
2. Male (seeking female) in the Greater Toronto Area
3. I’m a Chartered Accountant (CPA, CA) with a Masters in Accounting (MAcc)
4. I am planning to retire in the not too distant future (I have a certain number of years in mind but I don’t want to jinx it!)
5. Not idol status (sorry Firecracker!) but I do like what I have read from Firecracker
6. Let’s chat over dessert 🙂
7. I need someone that can understand and get on board with FIRE
8. Someone who can’t understand or get on board with FIRE would be a financial deal-breaker
Here is my dating profile and pics:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=121702454
For My Woman:
– One woman man
– Opens doors
– Carries heavy stuff
– Kills spiders
– One of the guys but will treat you like a lady
– Will stick up for you when it matters most
– Loves to make you laugh
– Wants to see you happy
– Wants to hear what is on your mind
– Will remember the things you like
– Won’t ever lie to you
– Good with finances
– Will do your tax return for free 😉
fyhchan@outlook.com
Instead of filling out these questions, why not link to our IG accounts or set up a FB group? My IG is mateoraft–anyone can message me there, and the bonus is that you can see the city I’m in.
I don’t like lists any more–one benefit of being financially free is to be able to wander aimlessly sometimes with no plan. As for dates, I always ask the person I’m seeing what he or she likes to do.
Good luck to all. One more point re: lists. I used to refuse to date smokers until I met one who was an excellent kisser. I still can’t date smokers because I can’t stand the smell but I’m no longer willing to eliminate them wholesale 🙂
A few years late to this but hopefully there’s someone out there from Vancouver/Sea to Sky area that has some similiar interests.
Age: 35 (1984)
Sex: Male
Location: Whistler, BC
One Interesting Fact About You: I spent nearly 7 years travelling the world in my 20’s while only working 1 yr and 7 mths in that time period.
Your Future Financial Goals: Aim to be FI in 5 to 7 years. I currently work as a server in the tourist industry in a ski town. Love the town and while its expensive its still a great place to achieve FI in certain jobs. Computer Science and programming was my thing before travelling but I realised I could reach FI quicker and enjoy life more by working in a non stressful very flexible job and meet interesting people from all around the world.
Your biggest FIRE idol: GoCurryCracker and definitely this this blog
Your Best Idea for a Frugal Date: Getting to know someone going for a drive or hike to a lake and having a nice picnic. In Winter perhaps a nice picnic in a secret spot on the mountain.
The Financial Quality That’s Most Important to You in a Partner: Wanting to enjoy life without having work been the major focus. I know this isn’t really a financial quality but I guess the quality I’m looking for the most is for someone who wont be tied down by work and wants to travel lots.