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This past year has been a whirlwind. Somehow, it’s been a full year since Little Match Stick was born, and FIRECracker and I have experienced every emotion between joy and terror, with liberal amounts of exhaustion folded in. Lots and lots of exhaustion.
Even though there have been plenty of times where FIRECracker asked each other “Why the Hell did we do this again?” we also realize that it’s quite a rare privilege for both parents to be able to be fully present and tackle the unending task of parenting a newborn together, as a team. When we first become FI and left our jobs, it never crossed our minds that one of the perks would be being fully present to see the growth of our future child, but here we are.
This has definitely given me a front row seat to the incredible, exhausting experience of become a new parent, so I thought I would share with you my reflections on 1 full year of being a FI dad.
Parenting Is a Non-Stop Job
FIRECracker and I have worked many different companies in our careers, ranging from banking, newspapers, telecom companies, and high-tech manufacturing. Many were high-pressure, high-stress jobs, requiring long hours and working evenings and weekends.
Parenting is harder than all of them. Hands down.
But the reason why it’s so hard is not obvious to someone that’s never done it.
You can argue that working a high-stress, intellectually challenging job like being a brain surgeon or a CEO is more difficult than changing diapers, but the thing about jobs like this is that even when it’s more challenging when you’re at work, your work is at least confined to work hours. Even if your job requires an insane amount of time putting in 12 hour days, 12 hour days are only *checks notes* half of the day.
Being a parent is literally non-stop, 24 hours a day, every single day of the year. There are no sick days, vacation days, or days off of any kind. Is it Christmas Eve? Doesn’t matter, you’re on duty. Are you snowed in? Doesn’t matter, you’re on duty. Is it 3 AM, the baby’s crying, you have COVID, and your spouse is throwing up in the toilet with the flu? Doesn’t matter! You’re. Still. On. Duty.
Now that I’ve done both, I now realize that being a parent can’t be compared to a “normal” job, because if it were a “normal” job, it would violate every labour law, and possibly the Geneva Convention. And oh yeah, it pays precisely $0. In fact, it even costs you money!
You Will Mess Up. Be Kind To Yourself.
I have also come to the conclusion that it’s simply not feasible for one person to do this job well.
There have been lots of times in the past year that I’ve been trying to wrestle my infant as he tries to bicycle-kick me in the face, while I’m trying to change his diaper after a blow-out, and then that’s when he decides to start peeing all over the pile of clean clothes I had laid out for him.
I just…physically run out of limbs to deal with this. And it’s only because FIRECracker is within earshot and hears my manly, anguished sobbing that we manage to get our shit (literally!) together.
And that’s with two retired people who don’t need to work and are tag-teaming this job full-time.
To the vast majority of parents out there who aren’t in this insanely privileged situation, cut yourself a break for the occasional f*ck-up. It’s so easy to beat yourself up when you mess up, but remember: No new parent has the slightest idea what they’re doing. Everyone’s just making it up as they go along. Mistakes are inevitable. But as long as you love your child, and you try to do a little better and learn from your mistakes each day, then you’re a good parent. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Oh, and if you’re a single parent, you deserve a goddamned medal, because I honestly don’t know how you’re keeping your kid alive all by yourself.
Balance Is Key
As first-time parents, both FIRECracker and I have spent a lot of time over the past year browsing parenting forums, Reddit threads, and Facebook groups, and we’ve noticed the same basic question pop up over and over again. And that question is:
How do I stop myself from murdering my partner?
It’s really easy to feel like your relationship with your partner is falling apart when you’re in the thick of the parenting trenches, but every time you feel like you want to kick him or her in the teeth, I want you to repeat the following mantra:
Your partner is not the enemy. Sleep deprivation is the enemy.
When it comes to parenting, it’s really easy for the workload to become unbalanced, where one partner ends up taking on way too much of the w. And let’s be honest here: It’s almost always the woman.
Blame breast-feeding, blame the government, blame centuries of societal norms that place the burden of parenting unfairly on one gender, whatever. But one partner almost always takes on way too much of the workload of parenting.
And when that happens, their sleep patterns inevitably get messed up.
Sleep deprivation is no joke. Sleep is how the brain heals itself every night. Take that away, and you slowly develop literal brain damage.
Here are some of the symptoms of sleep deprivation:
- Mood swings
- Irritability
- Memory Loss
- Headaches
- Impaired Judgement
- Poor Impulse Control
If you are, or remember what it was to be like, a new parent, this list probably sounds very familiar to you. It’s almost the same list of symptoms as dementia!
There’s a reason why sleep deprivation is banned by the Geneva Convention as a form of torture. The Geneva Convention considers it an inhumane way to treat prisoners of war. Yet we somehow accept sleep deprivation as a natural by-product of parenting.
The solution to this problem is to fix the unbalanced nature of the work of parenting. Both spouses have to rowing equally, because if one spouse is perpetually sleep deprived, everyone, including the baby, is going to be miserable.
Husbands, this means you have to help out not only in the cleaning and the feeding, but you have to take on at least some of the nights to give your partner a break. Yes, even if you are working a full-time job. Again, parenting is not comparable to a regular job. Parenting is 24/7 non-stop.
And besides just basic fairness, if one spouse is constantly sleep deprived, they’re not going to act like themselves.
Once again: Your spouse is not the enemy. Sleep deprivation is the enemy.
Fix that, and you will fix 90% of the relationship problems that develop after having kids.
Conclusion
Becoming a parent has been an experience unlike any other.
I would hear all the rhetoric about how becoming a parent was about putting the needs of your child above everything else. Including yourself and your spouse. And to be honest, that sounded deeply, deeply unappealing to me. It’s a major reason why I didn’t want to become one for the longest time.
Now that I have, I’ve realized that while this advice was well-meaning, it’s actually bad advice.
Putting the needs of your child above all else might seem noble, but parenting is a team sport, and if the team breaks down, you’re both in for a world of hurt.
Putting your partner as your number one priority isn’t just a good relationship strategy, it’s good parenting strategy too. Making sure your partner’s getting enough sleep, well-fed, and feeling supported means that the two of you can tackle the insane workload of parenting together. As a team.
I realize this might be a bit of a loaded question, but for those of our readers that have kids, how did you find your first year of parenting? What worked well, what didn’t work well? And do you have any advice for new parents? Let’s hear it in the comments below!
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Gosh, they don’t talk about anything else now? It seems they have “the little emperor syndrome” .
Talk about Capital Gains Tax Strategies and money FGS!!!
If you are more interested in finance-related articles, Bryce and Kristy have already written plenty of those. Simply scroll back and read the other articles instead of coming on and writing a negative comment. Becoming parents is a full-time job, just like Bryce and Kristy have said multiple times- so it’s no wonder they write about it frequently now that they have a baby.
The new articles geared toward parenting, travel with a baby, expenses with a baby etc have been extremely helpful for me considering I am pregnant and preparing to become a mother. I’m probably not the only one who enjoys their articles, so it makes sense why they are sharing and writing about the subject.
Again, if you don’t like it just read something else (there are plenty of other finance blogs out there Sarah)- there’s only so much one can write about “capital gains tax strategies and money” — which they already have written about 🙂
Ooh congrats on the pending little one! The journey is scary and exhilarating, but as we’ve discovered, it’s very much possible to keep your identity after becoming parents as well. We’re actually back on the road right now, and I wrote this article while on a cruise ship! That’s going to be a topic for the future on its own 🙂
Money and family strategies are intertwined topics. For example, I highly recommend if you’re married, you find strategies to NOT get divorced, which is what this article is about.
Don’t worry, there are more pure money articles in the queue as well.
I’m really glad to hear all of these parenting updates, and this is a really good take on the first year–especially the emphasis on partnership and identifying sleep deprivation as the culprit of like… everything. Another fun side effect of sleep deprivation is that you aren’t coherent enough to always identify sleep deprivation as a major factor contributing to whatever difficult situation you find yourself in during the first year!
Totally agree. I admire you two a lot. I enjoy hearing about little matchstick.
It’s true. Your ability to troubleshoot goes way down when you both haven’t slept, and it can quickly become unpleasant if you don’t recognize the signs.
“That’s not him/her talking, that’s the sleep deprivation” is something we’ve both said many times.
excellent, truthful blog post! i have no advice, but i know you will survive. i have four kids ranging from 24 – 30 years old, and parenting really ought to be recognized by the US’s Social Security Administration for compensation in my older years.
4 kids! Wow, you deserve a medal. We have just one and he’s keeping us on our toes 24/7!
This takes me back! The feeling of “not having enough limbs to deal with this” – well put. I remember realizing, “I haven’t peed for like 4 hours!” There just isn’t 90 seconds to spare to go to the bathroom. Take heart, it gets easier! (Although age 1-3 is no picnic, once the kid is mobile and starts tearing around the house actively trying to hurt himself in every possible way, that’s fun!) And it didn’t help that I was back to work full time after a whopping 2 weeks of paternity leave… corporations are usually better about this now but of course nothing beats being FIRE’d!
I applaud you and all parents. Mine is 10 now so we find ourselves nostalgic for the littleness! My only advice: write down the little cute sayings that he says between now and age 4, they will be truly priceless. Also, put a voice recorder near his crib when he naps, to get some of the pre- or post-nap baby talk.
I am a woman – in a very physical job (nursing-where peeing every 4 hours seems luxurious), and I have yet to find a job with “maternity leave” that’s not just a few weeks of preserving all your pto. Of course, my husband gets 4 months of paternity leave. I don’t understand this world.
I am kind of disappointed in the increased focus on the emotional aspects of having a baby on this blog. As someone who hasn’t been able to, it just feels like it adds to the judgment against those of us who aren’t. It’s like constant rubbing in my face from every angle- you can’t possibly know, you have nothing to complain about, it’s the only thing worth talking about!
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. It wasn’t my intention to rub anything in anyone’s face, and we actually struggled for years with infertility before having LMS, so being unable to have kids is something we’re intimately familiar with.
Having kids and not having kids are two branches of life that are perfectly valid: One is not “better” than the other, they really are both good and bad in different ways. There’s LOTS I miss about our child-free lives. Everything from travelling, to tax planning, to a simple meal out requires 10x more work, for example.
What kept us sane during our journey was appreciating the positives of the branch you’re on, rather than lamenting over the branch you’re not.
I appreciate your response, and I know it’s not specifically you (at all), as we are obviously not a part of each others’ lives. The fact is, the constant overwhelming message is still that if you don’t have a child, you are deficient in some way. I work in a very traditional field (nursing), and without anyone bothering to know why we don’t have a family, almost every day passive aggressive comments are directed my way, be it about how easy my life is, how my hours should be reduced suddenly or be the worst hours because “I don’t have kids or responsibilities,” “how nice” it must be to try to arrange my life to still try to have people in my life at all (vs focusing on family, but if I can’t have OTHER meaningful interactions in my life, what is the point?).
The last part feels so trivilizing, if one has experienced the same things. We live in a world where just saying “be happy with what you have” is made extraordinarily difficult by what is expected of (or the judgments to) the childless woman. I am certainly trying to get out of specific career, as I think it does no favors to the situation, but the overwhelming cultural message will almost always be negative (added to the negativity of judging yourself for not being able to achieve as a woman what comes so easily to most). I appreciate those who acknowledge both are fine, but there’s also a difference between choosing and being forced onto one. I hope maybe we will still be fortunate as you have been, and again, I don’t mean you any ill will. You have a beautiful life and family, and I am happy people can achieve such things. I would love to fervently focus on my own family… but I am also trying to come up with better alternatives to being more content with my current situation.
Thank you
Haha, that’s a great idea about the voice recorder. I’m totally going to do that!
I’m looking forward to his first steps with both hope and trepidation for exactly the reason you described. I’m going to be like “Yay! His first steps” and “Damn it! His first steps”
I was chuckling while reading, because this IS the early experience. It gets better, though! It got so much better for us that we had 4 total 😉 They are your age now and the whole thing feels like it was a dream–did it really happen??! So cool that you emphasize teamwork because that does spare the relationship. Haha, we used to argue over who was more deserving to have a nap! You will get a lot of insights into your own parents from doing this. We have wonderful adult offspring in our lives today and years of good memories, too. I bet you both are doing great! He’s adorable.
Aww, thanks! But 4?!? Yikes! We just got out of our first year, and FIRECracker is like “never again.” How did you decide to have more? Did you have a target number when you started?
Hah, from not thinking about it too much and having romantic ideas seen on TV, I think! One thing just led to another, the last one being “Surprise, guess what?” It was more expected back when you were born, that people would just have kids. Now there are other options more often promoted, esp for women. Thanks for sharing yourselves with us. I’ve learned a lot from both this blog and your book. People can learn from you on this part of your journey as well. You’ll be fine 😄
Bravo for a father to advocate for women/mothers! And I love reading your works because your way of thinking within and beyond finance!
Women/mothers are the definition of unsung heroes in all of this. Have you ever heard of the book/documentary Fair Play? We watched that together and FIRECracker was like “Yes! These people get it!”
Thanks to talk about parenting and financial independence! And I appreciate a lot the advices for the men 😉
Yes, it’s really challenging to be new parents and working (and when the children grow, it’s a lot of things but with more sleep until teenage years).
I chose to work less and at my own pace thanks to financial independence for my last little one. It’s really helping (and a chance!) but demanding too: because I have the tendency to do more…
Ha, yeah. “Challenge” is definitely one way to describe it.
Huge CONGRATS on hitting FIRE before having your new one. It helps SO much!
I have a military background and part of my training was in the Law of Land Warfare (Geneva Convention, etc.). I found this to be a hoot to read!
—
“There’s a reason why sleep deprivation is banned by the Geneva Convention as a form of torture. The Geneva Convention considers it an inhumane way to treat prisoners of war. Yet we somehow accept sleep deprivation as a natural by-product of parenting.”
Dan V, 11A5SLA
Taipei, Taiwan
I have a friend who was also in the military, and was waterboarded as part of his training. Then he had triplets.
He said military was WAY easier than parenting the triplets. “At least in the military I could shoot back” was how he described it.
I distinctly remember the frustration of bathing our beautiful baby boy, getting him all nice and clean – only to have him pee all over the place when I was drying him off after his bath! We learned to quickly cover that pee shooter.
Ours went all over his crib, soaked the mattress, and hit OUR mattress, right as we were putting him to bed. That was a sucky night.
re: “I just…physically run out of limbs to deal with this.”
As a new mother, I often wished I was an octopus because then I would have EIGHT arms to handle everything all at once. LOL
Eight arms would be the dream, wouldn’t it?
Though I did see FIRECracker pick up her phone with her foot while breastfeeding. That was pretty impressive.
Caring for a little tot is not work. It is your time to connect to the child, and a great time to reconnect with who you are and who you were as a one-year-old. It reconnects with your mom and dad, complete with their rare points of strength and their scandalous failures, with the new forgiving attitude that you laid out so well in this article.
It is good to give a parent a “no child” time. Like, bye mom, we’re going to the park now, and won’t be back before… X hour.
It’s also good to get the child off their majestic throne. The world is a safe place. I am listening to you, covering all your basic needs (from butt cleaning to skin-to-skin time) and giving you my undivided attention. But you are not my boss. If you scream bloody murder, I can be present to you. But your screams, once your basic needs are met, cannot be your way to give me orders.
Those are great points.
Getting alone time is probably the biggest challenge we have as parents. Still haven’t quite figured that part out yet.
With a 1-year-old, everything should be gradual, including graduality. But if you can get to 15 minutes, that should be enough to defuse even a very tense situation. In a month you should be able to get to 4 hours, which affords the mom of the house with a serious nap, plus a warm bath. With bubbles, yeah!
Rinse, repeat. With roles switched, LOL.
I really enjoyed reading both your articles on the first year. I agree sleep depravation turns you into someone else for a bit. You are both doing great and being there for your child now you’re FI is awesome. As we are both now working full time because we are so behind, now our second is here, we argue about who’s job is more important when the kids are sick and can’t go to daycare—someone needs to stay home. It’s so petty and terrible but also funny.
Wow, that sounds so tough. Nothing strikes fear into your heart quite like hearing your child sneeze now, doesn’t it? You two definitely deserve a medal!
Almost to year one with kid #3 and this all checks out. Having and rearing kids is hard work… but it’s more valuable work than almost any 9-5. But yeah, it’s overwhelming sometimes. I love your point about keeping your main focus on your partner instead of the kids. That’s critical and so easy to forget in the daily grind.
I am so impressed with all the parents out there that go through the first year of kid #1, and STILL decide to have another. FIRECracker is like “never again” right now.
That is such a touching post. Spot on that parenting is 24/7. The modern society does not really support that. It takes a village to raise a child. That is no joke and even with two retired parents taking care of one baby, it could still get overwhelmed. It would be nice to have other adult support (the adult relationships have to be healthy too) for child rearing. There is a book by a Canadian psychologist Neufeld “hold on to your child”. I wish I had read it earlier.
In Asia, people live in multi-generational households so that there’s literally a village built-in to help you out. What we do in North America where the parents are on their own and have to pay for child-care is a really shitty system.
As for “Hold on to your child,” I’d LIKE to hold on to my child, but he keeps kicking me in the face!
Cute kid… one is good, but you probably will wish you had 2 if you decide to stop there …. 3kids? not sure about that???
… interesting stat? ? seems a bit low?
1. The cost of living in Toronto for a single person = ~ CAD 3539/month and ~ CAD 42,468/year.
2. Toronto living expenses for a family of 4 = ~ CAD 8079/month and ~ CAD 96,948/year.
3. The average cost of living in Toronto for students = ~ CAD 1,800/month and ~ CAD 21,600/year.
I don’t know man, the thought of having a 2nd fills me with nausea right now. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a few years.
🙂
Love these posts! I have two boys about two years apart. Both are now over six years old. My husband and I are fortunate and when they were born I had twelve weeks maternity leave and my husband took four weeks off. The newborn stage is brutal but because our partnership was strong and we took shifts to avoid too much sleep deprivation, we survived it. After twelve weeks my son went to a home-based daycare and we went back to work. Repeat for the second child. It was very hard to drop off my first son and go back to work that first day. I had a great boss at the time. He said as long as they are in a safe and loving environment kids are adaptable and will be ok. He had four kids of his own and I trusted him. He was right!
Now, if we had been FI, I would have preferred to stay home with my kids and husband. Instead we continued working and pursuing FI, which we are now. I’ve stopped working and he has continued. We’ve been lucky and it’s worked out for us. I have more time to focus on family today and enjoy the elementary school years – bonus they are in school for part of the day ;). Sometimes I’m sad we didn’t get to spend as much time with them during their younger years. Ultimately, our daycare provider was amazing and did a wonderful job helping raise them while we kept earning. We were also lucky we had relatively high earning jobs and both wanted to work towards FIRE.
Keep focusing on your partnership. It’s easy to get away from it, but it will create the best environment for raising your child. Like you said, it’s foundational. Happy for you and Firecracker!
That’s so great that your boss was so understanding. How did you find a good home-based daycare, and did they get sick often? I hear daycares are petri dishes of germs, but I haven’t tried a home-based one.
It’s very odd how we found the home-based daycare. A family friend recommended one of their neighbors. I went online and searched daycares on the street they gave. I found one on that street thinking it was the recommended one. Turns out it was a totally different licensed daycare, same road name, just a different neighborhood south by about a mile.
Anyhoo, this women is amazing. She cared for six kids at the same time (varying ages). One of those people who thrives off a loud, busy, bubbling over household. She was always talking to the kids, having them help in her garden, making pancakes, playing games, having mini dance parties. I believe the colds and flus were worth the socialization and stimulation. In a way she provided more than my husband and I could have. She has all these systems in place to help educate and entertain children. If I’m totally honest, I don’t know that I would have wanted to stay home full time when they were super young. BUT, knowing what I know now, I could have made it work. Even a little part-time daycare situation would have been good. Get them out of the house and into new situations. Learning to deal with other children cannot be understated. If you are interested in home based (it was more affordable too) start asking around, search online/FB. If they go to elementary/primary school, they are going to bring home loads of colds, there’s just no way around it. At least you won’t have to worry about trying to reschedule meetings or making deliveries because you’re sick!
What an inspiring article. I’m loving the finance posts AND your life updates/family posts. Thank you for using your platform to show what an equitable home could look like if one has kids. Excited to watch Fair Play documentary! It’s rare for husbands to speak up on issues like these.
Great post. My spouse and I laughed out loud multiple times reading this! So relatable. Really appreciate that you cover FIRE along with having a family. Sounds like you are both doing a great job as parents. Definitely agree it’s the hardest job out there, but also hugely rewarding at the end of the day.
Our little one turned two years old in August. It’s a great age. The sleep does slowly get easier. And they can express their needs more at this age by using words, so that really helps. Their sentences are also so cute. Our little one started going to daycare for part of the day after she turned two, and she loves it. She’s enjoyed spending time with the other kids. They learn so much from each other. She does get sick, but she is building up her immune system.
If you haven’t read it, would recommend you pick up Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids. It’s written by Kim John Payne. Aligns with FIRE and minimalism as well, with some excellent wisdom in there too. It’s helped us in our own journey.
Take care! Look forward to your next articles.
Two words regarding the oppression of Men over Women, which has been going on for 10000 years at least and still goes on, in Iran and many other places.
In some contexts, recrimination is good. It’s an effective way to turn things around. Count me as part of the struggle.
In the context of a nuclear family, once you got a fair deal (I said “fair”, not “advantageous to you”), you please give me a 10000 year break.
Actually, I don’t think it is fair to bring gender oppression up as a negotiating tool either. Some serious issue has been going on for millennia, and you want to get even with an arrangement in a couple? Who can survive that? Can you imagine an arrangement between a black and a white person, to compensate for a few centuries of slavery? Or between a han and a zang? Ha!
Can’t say I would categorize being a new parent as harder than any job ever. Give me shit filled diapers 24 hours a day please. It was never more stressful, tiring or as damaging to my body as any job I have ever had. Like, not even part-time at Canadian Tire in high school, that was wayyy harder (mostly because I hated it and facing shelves full of off-gassing cheap goods made me faint to the floor). Not to say there are no frustrating moments. It is fascinating how an eight month old baby can lift the mass of a 100 kg father trying to change her diaper in The British Museum bathroom next to the Egyptian mummies, while sounding like she is being murdered. Or Mama Bear refusing to calm down because we all have a fever (probably from the trip to the museum…) and is unable to accept that fever is how we kill viruses and no, the baby isn’t going to die by bursting into flames. There are definitely moments…
The single best deal we made re kids was when our twins were born (and our oldest was not yet 2yo): I was in charge of “input” and my husband was in charge of “output”. Each of us felt we had the best end of the deal lol!
Know that while the days seem to last forever, the years really do fly by. Enjoy!!
Thank you for sharing your experience in all honesty as you become and grow as parents. And kudos for the piece of advice about putting your partner as number one priority. It is indeed a team effort.
Reading the article brought so many memories of sleepless nights/weeks/months back. We have a 5 year old ourselves (and let me tell you, you will get back your sleep but there will be other headaches and conundrums to figure out, but luckily there is lots of help out there these days). We struggle through days sometimes with tantrums, whining and endless ‘no’s but every night when he is asleep we look at him in awe and feel very blessed.
Good luck with the rest of this amazing, exhausting, challenging, mind blowing journey. This experience shapes you as a person like no other before. Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts, experiences, advice.
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I wish you success on the remainder of this incredible, demanding, difficult, and mind-blowing journey. You are shaped as a person by this encounter unlike any other. I’m interested in reading more of your opinions, insights, and guidance.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate your support and encouragement. It really motivates me to keep doing my best and sharing more valuable content.
Your article is so much useful to us. As parents we can gain and learn lot of this. Thanks lot for sharing experience and valuable content with your lovely users.
Wow, hats off to you—you deserve a medal! We just have one, and he already keeps us running around.
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